How to let go of control, and be cool with life when it sucks.

how to let go of control, and be cool with life when it sucks.

So, apparently, Saturday is National In Control Day. Who knew that was a thing?!!

Truly…I think it should be National Letting Go of Control Day.

Here’s what I know:

  1. We can’t control all aspects of our lives…especially the outcomes.

  2. Having expectations about the way our lives will turn out can lead to disappointment when it doesn’t go as we had planned.

  3. We like to avoid that disappointment (and hurt and anger and upset and confusion and depression) as much as we can.

  4. Trying to control our lives even more doesn’t lead to less disappointment (or hurt or anger or upset or confusion or depression).

  5. We like being happy (and joyful, and contented, and peaceful), and want to hold on to that feeling as much as possible.

  6. We like to keep feelings of happiness (or joyfulness, or elation, or peacefulness) as much as we can.

  7. Trying to control our lives even more doesn’t lead to more happiness (or joyfulness or contentedness, or peacefulness).

  8. We control aspects of our lives often when we are fearful that they won’t work out. Because we want to avoid negative emotions…being happy feels great, being sad does not.

  9. This is totally normal. You are human.

Paying attention to what is happening in the present moment (this is called mindfulness!) can help ease the desire for controlling our lives. If we pay attention to what is happening right now, in THIS moment, it allows us a little space to open up to life as it presents itself. ALL of life…the happy the sad, the in-between. Because when it comes right down to it, now is all you have.

Sometimes, when we pay attention to NOW, we have to feel that pain or that upset or that sucky moment. Becoming aware of what you are feeling, what you are sensing, what you are thinking, how you are breathing in a particular moment in time can help you be cool when life seems to suck…especially because you can learn to watch things continually change. They can shift from one feeling to another while you are paying attention.

I suggest starting with a short meditation session…and make it a daily habit. Pay attention to your breathing, and learn to embrace this life and all it has to offer.


*When you CAN’T seem to shake the upset, and it doesn’t move on, and you feel stuck. PLEASE ask for help. This too, is normal. It doesn’t mean you are crazy. It means you are human, and sometimes we humans need help.

Here are a couple of websites and numbers to help if you feel like you can’t go it alone:

National Suicide Prevention Lifeline: 1-800-273-8255

You can find a therapist at this website: Psychology Today