Here’s the one thing I know for sure: Things are constantly changing.
I have had some very VERY challenging moments of change in the last 6 months.
Let me just first say that this isn’t a plea-for-sympathy blog post.
Ok, now that I’ve made that clear, here’s what’s been going on: My brother and I (along with our families) have had to face my 87 year old dad breaking both of his hips…6 weeks apart. In between those breaks, he was hospitalized with bleeding ulcers, very close to death, AND, he has been diagnosed with Alzheimers. We moved him out of his beloved home in Oregon to an assisted living facility and put his home up for rent. Oh, and there’s more…but I’ll just leave it at that. So. LOTS of change….for my dad, and everyone close to him. oof.
Now. Here’s the deal. Change can be super challenging sometimes. (see my example above). But I know I don’t have to tell you that.
What can you do to cope? Here are some things that have help me:
First, read this:
“Letting there be room for not knowing is the most important thing of all. When there's a big disappointment, we don't know if that's the end of the story. It may just be the beginning of a great adventure. Life is like that. We don't know anything. We call something bad; we call it good. But really we just don't know.”
― Pema Chödrön, When Things Fall Apart: Heart Advice for Difficult Times
I adore this book by Pema Chödrön. I’ve read it multiple times…and use a different colored highlighter each time I read it…and now almost the entire thing is a rainbow of different highlights! Open yourself up to the possibilities that life has to offer…EVEN in times of challenge and change.
Acknowledge your feelings. What is there for you to know about the way you are feeling? Anger, frustration, anxiety, sadness, despair? Can you name it? If not, that’s ok too.
Talk to someone. Someone who can truly listen to you. This can be a loved one, a friend, or a therapist. Talking about how you are feeling can help you get a clear view of what is going on.
Take care of yourself. Start with self compassion. Change can be difficult…give yourself a little hug, and maybe even a “I know this is really difficult for you, and I’m sorry you are going through this.” (I DO realize that this might totally sound kooky as hell…but it can REALLY be helpful!). After a little self-compassion…take care of your health…getting some exercise, eat healthy foods, ease up on any alcohol or weed consumption.
Practice acceptance. This goes back to the thing I know for sure: everything changes. Accept the things that are out of your control. There are things that are simply out of your hands. Focus on what you can control…like, self-care.
*BONUS* Start a meditation practice. I know a person who can help you get started, if you need it…ahem…cough cough…
How do you cope with change and challenge in your life? I’d love to hear any tips you may have!